Never Good enough!

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Even in my early twenties, I still can’t decipher the attitude of people. Some might be pro in keeping the waters even but I can’t seem to master this art. I have had enough shares of brow beating, inquisitions and facsimiles. I can deduce that gnaring special place in heart for these people is next to impossible. You might curse yourself or feel bad about being a villain even if things change. circumstances become less excruciating. Yet why does this nagging pain of being a victim to such atrocities never end? Why does we welcome such nerve wracking audacity? Isn’t it a high time to be parable in such verbal assaults?

That believe to stand up for myself vanishes in Hades. It gets locked away in a remote corner of my heart where there is already cache of previous incidents. They trigger the devil in me wants to give them the taste of their own medicine; to be like what they want me to be; to be a constant pain in the ass.  The devil did turn the tables. It made me act self-conceited, unfathomable and disgusting. They started to loathe the face I had dawned. The face they patronized me to have. That face scrupled the moment I was done playing the lead of every story. I craved to play the role where negative will show the real me. The real me that once strolled in the world wasn’t enough. It could get raged or pin-pointed at. Even if it was exemplary; it still was never enough.

What’s the world out there doing? Your constant derailing or depreciation seems a trick to slay you off. Your stand on one foot and doing gymnastics to entertain them is not good enough. Your heart of gold that melts with their kind glance is never enough. Your devil-may-care attitude syringe a wave of nausea in them. Your love life becomes a talk of town? Your ill behavior shuns you to be a parallel universe. Is there for reconciliation? Is there a way to fight these odds? Is the soul in you recover?

Probably not! Your soul isn’t immortal. It is going to leave you in ashes soon. You are going to get buried in your own grave. You are going to answer for yourself. Your good will not go unnoticed by the Power. What they all do is their own freaking business? Dilemma is they are unaware of this breaking bad moment. They won’t live till eternity. They aren’t going to relish their jabs turning futile. They are going to alone grieve your absence. They will realize and then it will be too late.

Calamity is not on us to dawn faces.  Good or Bad- I dawned the both. Good was satisfactory- Bad was an agony. The mix of satisfaction and agony was way better than extremities.  The thought that everyone is going to reap for what they sow is comforting for now.

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Drive by!

After wearing his favourite red dress and makeup in minimal she glanced around the clock to wait for 6p.m.She was fidgety, she keep checking the mirrors in the washroom to see if her hair was ruffled or was she looking okay or not . Now past 6 o clock, he wasn’t there. He was never punctual she knew from their past meetings that he was not a good with time management . Being a bit forlorn ,suddenly she heard a phone ringing. Rushing to get her phone. She saw his number on the screen. Trying to control her exhilaration,she picked the cell he was saying, “Come outside quickly “.She responded “I ll be outside in a second”.Waving her mom good bye and saying her to close the door she saw him their in car smiling down at her.

” You look beautiful”, he said.

“Thankyou,you look great too” ,she replied with a smitten gaze.She felt his look was mermesmerizing her enough to form flames.They decided to go to McDonalds to get ice cream. Ordering choco cones by drive through ,he knew she loved Icecream but he wanted to spend time with her ,talk to her by taking her to a long drive not some crowded place where they couldn’t even hear one another. They knew this moment was perfect where they both kept listening to one another with a music in the background making every thing seem vague. What she felt for him was like her favourite quote “you are the sky, everything else is just the weather”. Smiling to her self, she woke up next day with a sigh cherishing this sweet dream.

P.s : This idea was a concept of my cousin. Will be looking forward to write it a conversation way soon.I am not active on WordPress but I will surely gonna be soon as my days are super busy. I ll definitely catch up with your blogs my adorable WP family!! GOD BLESS

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A Short scene!

Glancing through the window the whole day, Jamie didn’t see Patrick returning any time soon. She remembered he left in such urgency the other night not even telling here about his whereabouts. After a long wait, she heard sounds of car in the garage, rushing to open the door, she saw him looking like a mess with his hair rumpled and unshaven beard with his attire all disheveled still making him look a smoldering devil. Jamie asked “why didn’t you return the whole damn night? I was scared.” Patrick without paying heed to her moved past her. She couldn’t bear his hatred; she had to ask him his reason for being arrogant, dissolute and no good. Putting her hands to his lapel she asked him to look in her eyes, he pushed her away not wanting to see her tears dropping like a water fool. He hated her tears she was saying “listen to me; please you have not uttered a word since you went without notice. It’s killing me seeing you not saying something, Damn you! Spit out what is troubling you, shout all you want but just don’t keep it inside yourself.” He looked straight into her eyes, he knew that instant he couldn’t ever walk away making her feel this way without blurting out his good intentions, turned bad. He responded, “we both have been trying to strangle each other Jamie & I thought you needed a bit space that’s why I left, I should have known that whole night without you was a torture; I couldn’t have tried to solve our difference but I was silly to think walking away will help rather see it made you gloomy and vulnerable. I am a horrid man I know and I wouldn’t dare to do again unless you start snoring like your grandma; Remember she takes a minute to sleep followed by dangerous sounds of growling, literally once I had to run away for my life thinking she ‘ll eat me up.” Chuckling he caressed her face and waited for her to reply, She calmly said,” you did the right thing, if you hadn’t left maybe, I wouldn’t have ever known how much I crave your presence but don’t you ever do this again vile man c’mon swear on my breath” .With that they both laughed and continued pouring their hearts out..

His Only….!

Behind the curtains

Of his iceberg heart

Cold and brutish was

A fragile soft spot

Entangled, allowing

His only love

To open it with

Tenderness &

Courage to conceal his

Anger with a blush not

Letting the outside world

To utter a word against the

Very one who had ruled her

Heart with just a smile

At the first sight.

My Wicked Angel!

You are the…..

Sole star of my universe

Only Jewel  of my treasure

Caution before cure

Dragon to my slayer

Sparkle to my laughter

Reason to my way home

Delight to my eyes

Sight I wish to take every breath for

Addition to every curve of my smile

Wicked angel to my churnished soul
 
Knight of the shining armour

Protagonist of my every drama

Paradise on a gold platter

Inshort!You are the..

Drama queen of my kingdom filled with

Love I craved soo deep!

 

Rain!

Rain to her was a lingering
drop enveloping her face with
the purity of nature persuading to wave
off everything engulfing her sheer existence
drastically and trying to form her soul
intermingled with the intensity of passion
overwhelming with eruptions of cold breeze
going their way to her shimmering face
smelled of dew drops, making her look a sight
of constant bewitch along with the spell of
winds and rain hypnotizing her in the dawn of
the dusk not desiring her to bid farewell and
leave her terrace,her hermit zone, her place
bribing to stay a while longer here and
enjoy the compromise

A Sphere of Friendship….!

That phase of life made her scared
From the envious and cunning Earth
Making her want to stay away from everyone
Because she had heard somewhere before
They are your worst enemies
Will eat every bit of you with vindication
Observing why are all in vain to have them
Making her suspicious and mysterious
Of this sacred bond of friendship which
Had nothing to offer other than animosity
But sooner or later she found herself
Entangled in this web, breathing life
Giving her a chance to experience this meaning of attachment
Compelling her to omit all the odds and letting
Her open eyes and just see there are great minds
Thinking like her, searching for her
Without even asking something in return because
She realized that balance is restored
Nobody can end up having all bad days or all good days
Sometime it’s dawn and sometimes it’s dusk
And what matters at the end of the day is this bond
Comforting you in dread of times coping up
With everything with this tad bit of sphere called friendship

Embrace the Fate!

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Avoiding the inevitable is the most difficult thing happening to any of us. I myself have surrendered to his egoistic inevitable. No matter how much we try ,we can never getaway with the things that are meant to happen, and make us all fidgety with there arrival. The feeling before demise is so unnerving and scary, that it makes ones crawl under a puddle of mud. Yeah yeah! we know that we can’t get away with our problems ;we have to face them but, don’t you all feel like a warrior in a battlefield ready to face the prey? I wish we could get away with the feel of uneasiness alarming every fibre of our being. Just to be a little optimistic about this whole scenario for once, we can think of anything else to occupy our mind like,  daydreaming about future, though it’s vague and all fancy, but it does helps you get in depth of our dreams, or taking a peaceful nap and, telling yourself “we’ll see when time will come”. Time is the best healer I  think so; because for a while it makes us live an illusion.We all know that,  we  can’t stop mother nature from anything. God has planned everything for us, so we can relieve ourselves knowing, Somewhere in the sky God is there smiling and, letting us use all our silly tactics to calmdown and, have faith in Him with whatsoever the inevitable is ; because He has clearly mentioned that His love is way more generous than a total of  70 mothers. So ,I genuinely believe here definitely lies a point in believing in our fate , and become a staunch supporter of theory “Everything happens for the best “.I hope we can repent our panic attacks. Just have faith guys, and those who still can’t figure out then settled down for cleanliness of yourself because cleanliness is half the faith. Try to keep your self and surroundings clean.

Tada! 🙂