….Yet again….

  • Yet again she was busy cursing her
    fate for all the shit that has been
    happening to her or somewhere and every
    where not going in synchronization
    with what she had desired for long but
    yet again the high time came unannounced
    as a mandatory lesson not at all crossing
    her mind when she saw her owner asking to help
    her son sit in taxi where she was taking him for
    the check up, making her all blood drenched and
    fidgety with no way to back off now, reminiscing
    the long chats of her mates telling her about his
    condition from the very start knowing that he wasn’t like
    the normal kids ,always had been locked up his room for
    his disability to talk or walk but yet again she
    had no guts ever to interact with him because
    deep down she could not face the bitter reality
    of such misfortune in that young lad’s life but
    yet again the turn of events made her see him all
    Helpless with a long sigh and numbness about the
    torment of getting in the taxi, But yet again
    he was all ready and seated after bit of strain,
    Gone in a rush making her stay there and feel
    the disgust and pity for her black soul
    with tears running down her cheek ending in
    a pin drop silence of self loathe but yet again
    what she wished at that time was for the
    Earth to swallow her in ,for all the frustrating
    ride her mind had been, failed to see the bliss
    of the perfect body and features forming her
    Deranged mind to give shit to everything but
    again not ever considering about how fortunate she is though
    For everything ,when some crave to have it but yet again
    She recklessly ignored from the start!
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A Forever Debt!

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We interact with so many people around us .Categorically some like to socialize while others are bit too introvert to speak .Maybe, they’re busy in their own little circle and don’t like intruding, whereas some like to be meddled in. Me, I am the latter one who doesn’t give a damn about having my privacy invaded. I like being solicitous and welcoming to people around me. However, I still am averted to narcissists and like maintaining a distance of miles from them because that’s how they like to be treated; with grumpiness and seclusion. I truly believe in like-minds-think-alike-theory. we become friends with people who talk ,act or think like us. That’s why whenever a problem pops up in our lives; this people make sure they advise and help us get through the reality bit turmoils.

I am that sort of a person who is dependent on a friend’s advice, their guidance being right there for me every time I need it. But somewhere in life, I really thought they don’t know enough world, there is something missing in their approach to being a Mentor. It was really a kind of a naggy feeling, I couldn’t figure out what I was missing. Nonetheless, they chaperoned me in my strenuous times but they surprisingly lagged way behind in-league-to-worldliness as compared to my grandma.

Older people are without a doubt paragon of practicality and courage. They can play a pivotal role in reforming us, considering teenage is a sort of age where we all suffer from severe ADD (Attention deficient disorder). Instead of paying heed to their consultations ,we are busy fantasizing about God knows everything; from being brought up in a luxurious life style to elite class clothing to brands to novelish heroes and what not. But twenties I affirm is a bit of a drill for everyone, it’s when reality hits hard; shaking us to awake from the shackles of fairyland. Yupp!!!!Twenties is a decade of maturity, sanity and guidance. I would genuinely agree to it because it was when I really wanted to tune up myself, and to hear stories from my grandmother about her childhood, and how they learned so much about life. Whenever, I had holidays or luckily when my grandmother use to come in summers, I wished she prolonged her visit so that she could stay with us, to teach me about the expertise of life. Her sermons held a power to bide in my head. She was like

      “You should always have an optimistic approach, learn to be a good listener,Be tolerant and patient.Stay faithful when you have nothing left to do and God won’t deprive you”.

The other person that helped see me life in a new perspective was my aunt .I used to visit her in holidays. We rarely interacted, but she always insisted and I wanted to keep in touch with her. Though, I absolutely loathe communication gaps because they start injecting you with negative vibes which are honestly bizarre and absurd. I loved the way she always enthusiastically narrated me about her upbringing, her defying streak, retaliating every situation with open-mindedness, humor and valor. She still unfolds her blasts-from-past moments and literally give me laughing fits. It is good to know she is there for me but what I learned from her peculiarly was

                    “Every person has good and bad points, if that particular person has messed with you and has treated you roughly in his crucial time; stay calm and collective, and remember he/she  was the one who was a good friend to  you and don’t forget their positive deeds and learn to accept that there was time when a person is having a low phase,accept it  and move on ,and don’t react negatively .Don’t ever take things for granted .Thank God for what he bestows upon you and learn to value people more than you value things.”

Let’s accept it we all are seekers of love, care and affection. As long as we are getting it we are grateful but when it is missing its painful .Although, my mother helped me a lot being a better person; I am who I am of her. I love her to depth for being my confidant and bestest friend but my aunt and grandmother played a stupendous role in my character building, for which i am in there forever debt.

Authors Note:Try for once getting close with your elders. I hope they will help you to rectify your mistakes and help you make a better person to live in this strange wild world. Let’s aspire to inspire 🙂

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PARADISE!

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Sometimes we wish things remain the same, they never change, and they remain perfect just the how they are; but the hardest part is letting go of these things, and to go with the flow. It does make us a -wretched up nobody- giving up, but that’s how it works in this- nothing lasts forever world- ,eventually we have to let go of our precious things.

The dilemma I felt leaving my ancestral home was too much to absorb. I still have a hole drilled in my heart, moving out from there. However, I described in my earlier blog about how I take things for granted and later I fuss about them and that was exactly what I had been doing and complaining. My hereditary Paradise was built in around 1950’s by my grandfather (May God rest his soul in peace).It was really old and sort of had an architectural design of that era; which people now a days would loathe definitely. I simply loved the warm texture of the walls exhibiting love, affection and care. Despite of the fact that it was located in suburban area of Jhelum where surroundings were grotesque of course; people were conservative, loud but I can’t seem to neglect the aspect that they were good hearted and sharing-their-joys-and-miseries sort of people. Every morning I use to wake up to the sound of an old man yelling at the top of his lungs, bragging about how people should get rid of their old products and sell them to him. That typical horrendous voice of him worked wonders for him because it people made get up and sell their older products because sooner they get rid of those products, the sooner he‘ll leave with that unusual marketing strategy. I was a whiny teenage freakster back then ,complaining my mother all the time about that old man quite audible voices; but she used to hush me by saying ”You have to be adaptive in every environment, learn to live and stop complaining me. Life is good when we have highs and lows so stop being a lousy and try to adapt”. I Hated life lectures; Comeon!!!! See teenage isn’t supposed to be all about lectures and life lessons; it is has way more perks to it ,of enjoying the singledom, freedom of living on our ways rather than getting blabby tutoring about life.Blaah !Blaah! I use to ignore and I knew I’ll learn with time. There isn’t a science with such philosophies 😛

Friday’s I remember were the best because I use to come home early and enjoy the Naan tikki from the stall outside our home. It used to be so mouthwatering. GoodGod! I miss it so much. Although there are many blurry memories of my home; but one time I remember in early morning I use to hear a carriage passing by daily with an old man saying to offer morning prayers and how prayers are key to success .It was good to see hear his loud piercing sound though I wasn’t good enough to get up and pray back then. There were thousands reasons to love my paradise but being the eldest child graduating the high school with an A grade was the best part; My dad celebrating my joy with  giving sweets to the whole neighborhood was a memory  I still  cherished.

I hated to move to our new place in Cantt. It was good new home offering all the peace and serenity but there was no shrill sound of that particular old man I hated; the naan I used to enjoy. Most importantly, it was deprived of the presence of my grandfather I thought it existed in my old ancestral home. I felt comforted there .Nonetheless, he wasn’t there But I believe he had a part of him there happy about us staying there.

I feel every one miss letting go of their Paradise; but we have to accept that nothings lasts long .At the end memories are left and the rest fades away ;that’s how life is supposed to be.

I don’t have the picture of my paradise otherwise i could have shared..

See if you all can remember leaving your paradise! and give your reviews as well.

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A FOR GRANTED BLISS!

I don’t actually realize worth of anything unless it is snatched right away for me making me feel heartbroken and all gloomy. We all have faced such situations in our lives where we take things for granted. We really are so not thankful for the little blessings in our life that has contributed to our happiness.

Like I treat my spectacles so roughly trying to throw them or getting rid of them because at times I feel they are immortal, they never ever die they are so stubborn .But one time I remember my sister incidentally broken them and I was “Oh my God !Shoot! I won’t be able to see properly”.They make my world look beautiful and clear ,without them I certainly have no existence. Similarly,I don’t really bother about my laptop charger dropping it here and there and the next thing I know is that the battery isn’t working properly. I felt dependent borrowing laptops from other people but who cares as long as I as I write enthusiastically.

I wonder really such things matter so much. These little blisses always keeps adding joys in our lives which we always are so ungrateful for. We don’t even think these think matters.We are like “Yeah! When a time comes we ll get another one” but the tomorrow never comes.It rather makes us lethargic and weak ,wanting the things never changing a bit.

Although charger or spectacles can be replaced but Do we ever ponder that so called life we take for granted will that be given to us again? Will we ever be grateful to God for many heavenly gestures He has bestowed upon us ?Never! Because we are born selfish.

Health is such a bliss in its glory when we can what we want to eat without even given second thought to consequences of eating all the unhealthy stuff that deep inside we know we should avoid but who cares when a moment on the lips we believe will stay forever on lips.Then we forget the inevitable sickness. Sickness can be a Cough,Flu,Diarrhea or anything not particularly severe. It still makes us feel so helpless .We can’t feel like doing anything rather we lighten out our hearts by cursing blames or being unreason for no God damn reason because deep down we know “GoodLord! What a blessing health is and we have been treating it worth a shit”. Health is such a bliss that in an instant it can make a person feel aimlessly low or thrillingly high. We never can do justice to health because we never thank God for such a beautiful blessing without which our lives is completly baseless.

Lets all take a plege and thankGod daily for this miraculously blessing making us want to do wondrous things in our lives,fulfilling our dreams.Yess! indeed if not for this blessing we won’t never dream to achieve milestone in our life we wish to achieve someday. See I am writing because I am in a good health and want to write a blog but few days go I hated writing because I wasn’t feeling well .I didn’t feel like doing anything because I missed not having my healthy vibrant self .I wish to thank God daily for this beautiful bliss called health which makes me want to aspire big.Amen 🙂

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Such propriety in our Lifestyle!

I am a Pakistani basically, a typical Punjabi.The life style of a Punjabi  exhibit their love of food.I am glad to be brought up in a family where already my parents where Foodaholics. Cooking is like the most important chore for my mother.The first thing she likes to do every morning is to plan which meal to prepare for a day.

We have this ritual that whenever anybody is invited to our place,my mother makes sure they eat to their fill.Ordinarily all the dinning table is filled with variety of foods.The mere majestic site of all the platters served primarily for guests makes them feels welcomed,honored and delighted. People here in our society think that serving extravagantly are essential norms.Actually the backdrop lies where people start scrutinizing their friends on the basis of how much food they are    serving. Remorsefully,I was one of those people who did measure friends on this scale.Whenever I used to visit my friends,occasionally after spending a whole afternoon with them.I anticipated to be treated in a highness manner with them serving my tray with different sort of dishes.But what I would get for lunch was rather a coke or a sandwich. You ‘ll be imagining me misty eyed but Nahh! Rather I thought “Whattt! that’s it! Come on we have been chattering the whole day and what I get is just a sandwich”.My conscious replied: Yoo baby! that’s what you are gonna get,stop being a whiny chic and eat what you have got otherwise stay famished till the rest of the day.After coming home, guess what the first thing that pops to my mommy head is “what your friend served you”.I eventually stated the obvious because see I can’t hide any thing from her.She can detect that devilish grin on my face any moment.Deep inside you know how mothers always see through you,My Maa being a generous hostess always quotes that “a person mannerism and etiquette is showed by how well they serve or treat you.”

But I questioned myself what if some people don’t actually know being a hostess.They already are so preoccupied with everything going on in their minds and lives.Either personal life is great or professional life is bland.Maybe they don’t know the ways to serve well.They should be guided to this being-a-good-host-world.

I begin keeping derogatory remarks to myself. I realized to invite them over often and see how it is done. Yeah! i am smart right! I know 😛 My friends who didn’t know the ways of proper hostess started inviting me over.They persuaded me to come because they didn’t want to feel bad of coming over to my place devouring all stuff. That’s how I visited them again, they started serving enjoyable well.The hospitality does matter. I think it shows how much effort you are putting in to make others feel at home 🙂

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My Soft Corner!

As my blog is all about life experiences. I would love to to share my another story with you all 🙂

I am the eldest of four sisters and no brother.I always get being-the-eldest protocol in very matter of my household. It does look all glim and glam until you get the burden. . That really showed when my baby sister was born.We had an age difference of 14 years.My love and affection started rightly after my mother came carrying her and showed her to us .She was like a little Snow White with appealing features sent from heaven to spread joy. I started helping my mother with her baby sitting.I always had a soft corner particularly reserved only for her.Though already having two other sisters around I never seriously felt need to have another one.But one never know how astonishingly miraculous God is,till it comes to His plans. The delight of having a new baby in a family was divine.Whenever she smiled to my words,it was like finally she is sharing and giving back the love she received with a vibrant glow on her face.The saddening truth is when a baby grows.Nonetheless, we wish they remain the same age.When my sister started talking ,she also started quarreling random but I always took that as fun.Generally,I believe that older sibling are always goofy brains.We don’t really bother about striving back to fight.That’s what I always did.I thought she ll learn when she ll grow up but I was so wrong.Occasionally I did scold her for yelling.But the moment  I see her whining adorable face.I immediately let my guards down with regret and hugged her back,.I hated having a soft corner at times because I can’t scold her a times or even when I do after an instant I start laughing and she knows that I wasn’t serious at all.It provoked my anger seeing my sisters scolding her.They always said “you are going to spoil her”. I didn’t care a damn back them but now I realize they were right.So the image I wanted to create as a strict sister dragged through the mad because of my unwise timings 😛

Now is she is all grown up,8 years to be exact.I always do see her obeying orders from my other sisters.I started distinguishing that however they both love her to bits but in their own certain way.They don’t always act chummy or molly coddle her every time like I do.Whenever she tries to answer them back,they only give her a infuriated look and she is all quite and respectful.Whereas If  I were in their shoe she would have payed no heed to what I ramble.After all this pampering her to distraction was my fault at the end of the day.

I learned the way to tackle her was to show her a fair difference between an elder and age fellow.She should learn to respect her elders.It’s not only me she should respect but every body how is generous in affection.But if she continues to stay the same so I ll deal this in my own way and that is silence which is the best response.After all respect is earned not demanded.

My sister name is Annaya and she has started taking me seriously  she knows she is going to obey me otherwise I won’t talk to her whenever she ll plead me to.

Here are her few pictures  of annaya I am sharing with you all.

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And that’s how I changed for good!

Being a hostelite I did experience that you have to really mould yourself according to the likes of people and that’s how its gonna work in here babe otherwise you are so out. I never ever gave a thought to living in a hostel. I never knew I had to leave my parents until I got admitted in a university and my father was taking me to my hostel. I think it was my introvert nature that made me loathe girls wearing heart around their sleeve or having nonchalant behavior. Who knew I was gonna be one of them precisely in making? 😛 See God is always there smiling looking up for you and trying to make you a better person. That’s exactly what happened to me .The moment I moved to hostel, deep side I knew my dreamy notions about my wants will take a u-turn and rot in hell whereas I have to adapt in here no matter what, because there ain’t any looking back besides I didn’t want to ignite my dad’s anger which is always ready to explode :p All these years here I learnt that I have to be flexible to survive in such an environment like I had to be okay with God knows everything like my roomies not shutting the light at night,or in the middle of night girls barging in our room and start muttering about their love lives. At times I had to regain my composure reminding myself I am going to be here for next four years .I fathomed my malice with my conscious acting as my mentor and helping me differ between home and hostel.Obviously I had to give up my highness ways and act as a grown up. I started neglecting the petty issues like “Dude! it’s your turn to clean the room,  Can you please just go and wash the dishes? , or Can you low down the volume of songs ,they are pounding my earlobes?.Though I still am a neat freak but I started making no big deal out of it.I think it will create a mess out of a mole hill when I would start narrating them their tasks,.They all are old and wise enough to do ,so what  if they are lethargic . I realized I have made friends out of these people here who adore ,love and listen to me when I act like a weather friend.I can’t lose them because they aren’t exactly what I expect them to be like.They all are different people with big generous heart who have welcomed me with open arms and help me live a life absolutely ridiculous then absolutely boring :P.My blithering won’t help because a person’s nature never change .They ll remain the same no matter how much you try to hover their brain. But I can try to create a peaceful environment neglecting these odds .And its not that everybody is perfect in their own little world.We all have flaws and if not being a squeaky clean is in their blood then be it.  By the by they are compassionate and caring when I need them that’s all that matters for me because emotional  and moral support is what a friend seeks from another.And that’s how exactly I changed by adapting and learning to be tolerant and patient.Where as God is there and He will never ever deprive us all ❤