It hurts….

It hurts to see when
Worst is assumed of you
When nothings falls in place and sides with you
When your words are thrown back at you knowing it’s not the time
When you can’t justify enough
When you are burdened to deal with the expectations
When you can’t be a part of others distress
When no matter how much you try to end a feud ,it ignites with more fire
When seeing your mates apart because of misconceptions
When you fail to believe you are conned
When you’re not good enough to be friends with
When you can’t feel what’s to be snatched away
When you surrender in disgust to see your worth
When nobody wants to be part of others miseries
When you have to fight the torment all by yourself
When things seems in pace only when you agree
When differences aren’t sorted out but become word of mouth
When you are harshly judged for the wrong doings of others
When blabbing in fun is considered as a haw moment
When suddenly your grades become a measuring meter of your personality
When materialism is valued more than kindness and affection
When you wonder straightforwardness is not appreciated
When the monster of evil eye is valued more than a person
It hurts to see all this tearing me in shreds deep down

p.s: Written for my adorable buds! 🙂

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Oath!

I lack in judgments. I always like always assume the best or the worst in people.Its like the two extremities that I blindly follow.This is like making me the saint or the sinner in front of people.Why would I lie when I say that people opinion don’t bother me? Actually they do and hate my self for depending on them for each minor or major selections.Anyways judging others came from my emotional wrecked heart.People can do whatever that want whether they bitch lot,expose themselves or act like crazy bonkers. I always question my self why do I have to judge them ? I ain’t a saint…Who am I too question them and why do I care lot. It’s like the sudden ripple of waves start emerging from inside from my brain and hitting me till I state the obvious..I really did  opinion-ate and then the infinite guilty pleasures throbbing me ever since I judge. Telling me “See the person you judged is complete opposite to what you imagined” and I have that dig-in-the-grave-bury-myself-in-it feel making me feel ashamed of what sort of person I am .Who exactly has given me the write to judge them? I haven’t gotten any certificate or authorization from God (God forbid) to judge people So why I start blaspheming when I see things are not always accordance to my likes? I question my self and then got the answer that loathed my being.The answer was I am just a worthless piece of shit God created , bestowing His miraculously blessing knowing that I keep on sinning and He keeps on giving, I knew that I am purposely doing this judging things to please my aimless being.I had to stop this.It’s like NOW or NEVER for me. I have to be in front of Allah Almighty in the judgement day and I know I couldn’t face him because of my bad deeds.Already my sack of backbiting,not thanking God enough for His Big Heart when every time it comes to giving,loving and sharing is full. I want to drown in my own pool of deeds knowing exactly that what I deserve.But before its to late I just want to make an OATH to please God not to judge. 🙂