Nirvana

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The way their words
Kept barreling in
turned him scarier and scarier
One would say it was just
Normal to let others
Guide you but everyone
Failed to understand
What he was going
Through, Words falter
to purify his deceived heart
Silence stays
To an extent that
He himself could go weary
That rough edge of
Nirvana didn’t help matters
Rest, Everyone tried harder
For him to get rid of nirvana
They said it wasn’t real
Life isn’t supposed to
Be considered a nirvana
It’ suppress
you to be
Someone you didn’t want.

 

(Nirvana : an ideal state )

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Quarantined. ..

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He didn’t think there was salvation waiting for him. What he knew for certain was throbbing ache in his strings of heart indicating collateral damage. The wicked grin plastered on his face was enough to keep off the buggers. I couldn’t even know half of the time what he was thinking. Everything around him naturally turned comical. Maybe that was the way he carried himself around like a shield. Inside his mind must have been a terrible place of sentiments, for I had seen him being quarantined more than enough. Maybe his heart was slave to my eyes. I knew that my gaze his way could ricochet his feelings in outburst. Why did he had to be too headstrong to remain normal?  For him normal was highlighting digression. I knew he was hurting, hurting deep side to let the dagger of ribcage slit his hearts in shards. He let it happen any way. His oversaken past and future was causing a riot.  He mused fate was giving him a leverage until he saw what was coming. It wasn’t just a hailstorm. It was more like a turnado all the way from skies to whisk him away in monochromatic life high on chaos. His over thinking overruled everything leaving us both in tatters.

*(QUARANTINE : State of enforced Isolation)

Minutes alone

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Smoky clouds ruling the noon
With trees fumbling
Delighted of the rain
Heaven above smiled
Seeing her again there
Amongst the chirping
Where she always come
To mediate
Around the sunless sky
Where comfort comes
In heaps
Letting down her resolve
Air offers shoulders
To breath in & out
To let horrors
Dwindle somewhere else
Until she resurrects
Until she relived again
For a brief hour
To speak her mind
A soft caress of breeze
Is a way to start
Words rolling down her
Tongue like a marshmallow
The blight seems to fade
Until she has to go back
And come back
Again same hour
To invade nature merrily
Stealthy to seek
Minutes alone.

Mind Land

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I dread my actions. They are insecure and hasty trying desperately to fit in the picture where everything is fine . I am more concerned about my public image. I knew every after few days or months it gets slithered like I am a bad omen. I do things that others find unbearable to fathom. They think I am just not over my childish tantrums. Some even jolt me to make me see that I am hurting others. That’s the part where I get confused. I don’t know how unintentionally you can break others hearts. How you can just nonchalantly give it a no big deal until you are asked. I get wobbled looking at all the faces and their index fingers in my direction accusing me. I see all of them glaring at me in bewilderment, in angst but I can’t seem to stop my brain moving in other direction. I don’t listen to the voices yelling at me for my odd behavior. Instead I swerve – my head still absently nodding to my every grave mistake. Everything does make sense but what about my concentration? It’s diverted.  My windpipe blocking the air to enter my mouth. My unshed tears lay still in my eyes. My glistened eyes look vulnerable. My lips quiver but my tongue is paralyzed. Words are at the threshold only to be taken back. There is nothing I can do to make the noise go away. It’s plunging into my body like an injection. I hover over the clock that still has minutes to strike. Nothing feels alive. I am a corpse wide awake glancing in all the directions to lay in my grave. It’s not that bad until it starts getting. My feisty mood deserves to roam in a den where what is poignant is just air of fan lulling to a slumber.

 

 

 

Deep, deep down!

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Skies everywhere
Different hues dancing on the clouds
Will I see the next dawn
Or will I mourn the current dawn ?
It’s never going to get easier
It’s going to sting
Deep, deep down
But it wouldn’t remain
Scratches rolled off
Peeling away swollen cuts
You’re going to heal
Yes..from afar
I see you hale & hearty
It didn’t take long
To annihilate me
From you
But I am glad it’s over
Before long it wasn’t
Now it is.

Mayfair of love

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His wayward presence had an aura
I couldn’t help myself but get drown
In those raven eyes
Casting a spell over me -gingerly & perfectly
His arrival at those perfect seconds
Led me through the aisle
hand in hand
Walking in merriment
Tip toeing to your favorite number
The grin plastered on your skin
Creeped blush on my cheeks
Your hands around my waist
Warm & fragile -tracing circles
On my back felt like
Ecstasy thriving into life
Slow pecks on my forehead
Inhaling your aftershave
I closed my eyes to be in a stupor
Where echos from the background awaited
Our raging heartbeats synchronized
Doing somersaults in my stomach
Opening my eyes to your grown stubble
I let you lead me out to our yacht
Where our happy beginning
Galvanized a Mayfair of love.

 

Looking for joy

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I am relying on the labyrinth in my mind
That is continuously fishing for joy
One way or another I am seeking
The indestructible happiness
At the expanse of dreams
They thrills me night after night
To lay awake in the haze of
A world that is only known to me
Maybe, it is escape from present
But it’s where my heart lies
It washes away the cacophony
Of noises which from afar jolts me
In those hours I keep looking for
A glimpse of hope that steer me
Provoke my insides to feel placidity
This delirium isn’t going to end
Until it seeks the ultimate task

 

Purification

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“Going through purgatory wasn’t for you. My mind didn’t go bland to woo you with my will for purification. It happened in the lightest of moments where my mind contemplated. The staccato pulses in my veins shuddered with ill conceived notions; I had to let the interruptions fade away to welcome the delight of desires. ”
Izza ifzaal
creation by MUA .