Who I thought I would be

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The words you throw at my face
Every now and then
Yours eyes seeing right through my soul
Reminding me again of deep waters
That I claimed to get drowned in
It’s getting hard to get along with you
Because your breaching my confidentiality
The way I kept things afar
Not wanting your sympathy
Why would I need that?
Could you change the topic
There is nothing left to say
Just silent tears swelling up
In my throat that shut me up
Continuing to rave about
My issues would do nothing
To let me get out of it
This time I didn’t plunge
In deep waters, I threw myself
In an ocean where the possibility
Of survival is as meager as
As a disease gone viral
Don’t you dare remind me of
Of who I was ,who I thought I would be
Rewinding the past is regretful
It’s like a nightmare that
Keeps it’s claws on me all the time
Even if this dry spell of chaos
Is over, I am still not going to get over it
I can’t forget it
Who I was ,who I thought would I would be.

INSTAGRAM @fictionviaizza

Stop now!

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“I don’t know what i am feeling right now. I think alot of it had to do with the affect your words had on me. This huge gaping hole in my gut is consistent since we last talked. I thought i was going to rely on you for better or worse but you make me see the reality of my doings, my choices and my behaviour. I think everything has to do with what i do when you see the world around you progessing for more. Your wayward approach threatens me to reconsidera life I have chosen for myself. The lifeless statue of wonderland inside me is craving to be unleashed. I think you arent going to witness it happening when you bring out your own psychologies that get an upperhand. This feeling of disagreement is coherent as a whole ; i don’t think i will be able to give away my freight train of actions. My individuality and actions go simultaneously – hand in hand. Believe it or not.” – Izza Ifzaal

….Yet again….

  • Yet again she was busy cursing her
    fate for all the shit that has been
    happening to her or somewhere and every
    where not going in synchronization
    with what she had desired for long but
    yet again the high time came unannounced
    as a mandatory lesson not at all crossing
    her mind when she saw her owner asking to help
    her son sit in taxi where she was taking him for
    the check up, making her all blood drenched and
    fidgety with no way to back off now, reminiscing
    the long chats of her mates telling her about his
    condition from the very start knowing that he wasn’t like
    the normal kids ,always had been locked up his room for
    his disability to talk or walk but yet again she
    had no guts ever to interact with him because
    deep down she could not face the bitter reality
    of such misfortune in that young lad’s life but
    yet again the turn of events made her see him all
    Helpless with a long sigh and numbness about the
    torment of getting in the taxi, But yet again
    he was all ready and seated after bit of strain,
    Gone in a rush making her stay there and feel
    the disgust and pity for her black soul
    with tears running down her cheek ending in
    a pin drop silence of self loathe but yet again
    what she wished at that time was for the
    Earth to swallow her in ,for all the frustrating
    ride her mind had been, failed to see the bliss
    of the perfect body and features forming her
    Deranged mind to give shit to everything but
    again not ever considering about how fortunate she is though
    For everything ,when some crave to have it but yet again
    She recklessly ignored from the start!