- Yet again she was busy cursing her
fate for all the shit that has been
happening to her or somewhere and every
where not going in synchronization
with what she had desired for long but
yet again the high time came unannounced
as a mandatory lesson not at all crossing
her mind when she saw her owner asking to help
her son sit in taxi where she was taking him for
the check up, making her all blood drenched and
fidgety with no way to back off now, reminiscing
the long chats of her mates telling her about his
condition from the very start knowing that he wasn’t like
the normal kids ,always had been locked up his room for
his disability to talk or walk but yet again she
had no guts ever to interact with him because
deep down she could not face the bitter reality
of such misfortune in that young lad’s life but
yet again the turn of events made her see him all
Helpless with a long sigh and numbness about the
torment of getting in the taxi, But yet again
he was all ready and seated after bit of strain,
Gone in a rush making her stay there and feel
the disgust and pity for her black soul
with tears running down her cheek ending in
a pin drop silence of self loathe but yet again
what she wished at that time was for the
Earth to swallow her in ,for all the frustrating
ride her mind had been, failed to see the bliss
of the perfect body and features forming her
Deranged mind to give shit to everything but
again not ever considering about how fortunate she is though
For everything ,when some crave to have it but yet again
She recklessly ignored from the start!
Sometimes we wish things remain the same, they never change, and they remain perfect just the how they are; but the hardest part is letting go of these things, and to go with the flow. It does make us a -wretched up nobody- giving up, but that’s how it works in this- nothing lasts forever world- ,eventually we have to let go of our precious things.
The dilemma I felt leaving my ancestral home was too much to absorb. I still have a hole drilled in my heart, moving out from there. However, I described in my earlier blog about how I take things for granted and later I fuss about them and that was exactly what I had been doing and complaining. My hereditary Paradise was built in around 1950’s by my grandfather (May God rest his soul in peace).It was really old and sort of had an architectural design of that era; which people now a days would loathe definitely. I simply loved the warm texture of the walls exhibiting love, affection and care. Despite of the fact that it was located in suburban area of Jhelum where surroundings were grotesque of course; people were conservative, loud but I can’t seem to neglect the aspect that they were good hearted and sharing-their-joys-and-miseries sort of people. Every morning I use to wake up to the sound of an old man yelling at the top of his lungs, bragging about how people should get rid of their old products and sell them to him. That typical horrendous voice of him worked wonders for him because it people made get up and sell their older products because sooner they get rid of those products, the sooner he‘ll leave with that unusual marketing strategy. I was a whiny teenage freakster back then ,complaining my mother all the time about that old man quite audible voices; but she used to hush me by saying ”You have to be adaptive in every environment, learn to live and stop complaining me. Life is good when we have highs and lows so stop being a lousy and try to adapt”. I Hated life lectures; Comeon!!!! See teenage isn’t supposed to be all about lectures and life lessons; it is has way more perks to it ,of enjoying the singledom, freedom of living on our ways rather than getting blabby tutoring about life.Blaah !Blaah! I use to ignore and I knew I’ll learn with time. There isn’t a science with such philosophies 😛
Friday’s I remember were the best because I use to come home early and enjoy the Naan tikki from the stall outside our home. It used to be so mouthwatering. GoodGod! I miss it so much. Although there are many blurry memories of my home; but one time I remember in early morning I use to hear a carriage passing by daily with an old man saying to offer morning prayers and how prayers are key to success .It was good to see hear his loud piercing sound though I wasn’t good enough to get up and pray back then. There were thousands reasons to love my paradise but being the eldest child graduating the high school with an A grade was the best part; My dad celebrating my joy with giving sweets to the whole neighborhood was a memory I still cherished.
I hated to move to our new place in Cantt. It was good new home offering all the peace and serenity but there was no shrill sound of that particular old man I hated; the naan I used to enjoy. Most importantly, it was deprived of the presence of my grandfather I thought it existed in my old ancestral home. I felt comforted there .Nonetheless, he wasn’t there But I believe he had a part of him there happy about us staying there.
I feel every one miss letting go of their Paradise; but we have to accept that nothings lasts long .At the end memories are left and the rest fades away ;that’s how life is supposed to be.
I don’t have the picture of my paradise otherwise i could have shared..
See if you all can remember leaving your paradise! and give your reviews as well.
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