My sheltered heart

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I don’t want to replay that
Fucking scene in my head
Yet once again it slammed
Through my mind again
I kept lurking around
To that corner where you
Stood Uninterrupted
Even by the shadows
I had to stay there
Disheartenedly
Waiting for you to
See me approaching you
I hated every second of
Waiting around the corner
Counting seconds before
I had knee down in front of you
And let you make me
Take back those words
I said with a sane mind back
Pushing all limits
Still tainted with scarred issues
I breached that subject again
But this time to your liking
Fucking hating every second of that
Encounter, I fled away with dissipation
With an agony that pleased you
Yet made me subtle and aggressive
Everything that once made me happy
Now evaporating like bubbles
In the sky
I stand still
Under the same sky
Where no one grieves
Except my sheltered heart.

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As long as…..

Come and stay
As long as you don’t prey
Play and clay
As long as you don’t stray
Turn and away
As long as you stay at bay
Pricks and tricks
As long as you don’t flick
Bricks and walls
As long as you don’t invade
Pieces and me
As long as you don’t hit the right thee
Broken and free
As long as you don’t we

It all started….

It all started with eye locks or catching glimpses of one another
In a crowd hassled, busy in their own little world, but had
Eyes on them witnessing their new profound smittening
In their gazes, pronouncing the new spring of love when
They never gave a thought to the turn of events suddenly
Making them restlessness to give a try to friendship when
Introductions were made linking them as friends of friends
In one way or another, gladly availing the chance to be acquainted
Only to see if these awkward mutual feelings called crush could
Stand a chance or was it just an inevitable attraction binding them
In blindness leading to exchange of numbers providing ample
Opportunities of 24-7 texts and messages, entangling them
In the impulse to feel love so deep, declaring out loud to everyone that
They are one for eternity but there was a hidden facade, a bitter deception
Of love keeping away the truth of his being, making him a
A despite man full of lies and mislead waving her goodbye with just an
Explanation that he was not good enough for her, and made an oath to never
Return back and letting her become a person forlorn and clingy, for flawed decisions
And fancy for believing at first place that ,thus it is always started from care to
Adoration and from adoration to love and from love to matrimony
All in a second!

P.s:Wrote it based on keen observation from sudden events in the past !

I wonder why?

Photography-my-sad-storyI wonder why God is so gracious with us ? Its not like I am being gibberish for no apparent reason ,but I think we all have had our share of sheningans and sins, but yet here we are being granted every think we desire.I wonder why ? Though, obviously God knows better when He delay our wants ,waiting for the right time to give us everything.That everything sums up food, shelter, clothes, health,education.I believe these five makes us the richest people in the world, but Nahhh we humans have this inbuilt greed to get keep on getting something superior, overlooking the fact that ,we did get what we asked at the first place; But then again I wonder why we keep on getting all this bliss? Do you think we all deserve this? I don’t think so because what I see are our cruel intentions keeping on getting us stray.We are hypocrites remembering God only when we are happy or sad. God being God stills appreciates us for calling Him. But I still wonder why?? It might be because He might have sensed some tad bit of humanity in us; giving us chance to prove our selves ; by making us wonder about all those deprived kids begging on the streets just to get coins to fill their empty stomachs, or eyeing with awe and fascination yearning to be among one of us ,or kids famished and willing to get used food,because the thoughts of hunger unnerves them? There might be countless scenerios like these catching our gaze and  then I wonder why? Because God surely wants us to realize the worth of what we have, and be obliged so that He can bestow us even more .I wonder why? Maybe, it’s high time we should realize that, its better late than never ;we should start by being a better person and not take things for granted.The only thing that can help us ever is gratitude towards God. Yeah, our gratitude and humbleness will please Him and it ll work wonders for us. But don’t forget the poor need us. Let’s have generous hearts and give for the sake of God. At the end what matters are intentions then actions 🙂

Can’t I ?

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Can’t I be the one to live ?

Am I a mere being you won’t let go

Why do you want me to be in shackles

When you know this is not how I m going to be tackled

For the love of God think above see your self

You my majesty are not only allowed to be myself

I am not going to follow you scared like a whip

Saying nothing with my teary lips

Can’t I be the one to live ?

Yess I would be the one to freed

Where you don’t pursue and agreed

I can’t be your slave ,nodding to your bait

You wouldn’t be lucky with your gait

Your wish my command is over

Because now I wouldn’t cower

Let me relish and cherish my life

Where you wouldn’t query me like a naive

I have got that you don’t fig about my desires

You like snubbing me when it acquires

I wonder why don’t you let go of your selfish streak

Yeah right! you are stuffed with mighty ego you geek

Yes I would do what I want

Do hell with your daunt

I am a girl of my word

You ll see that soon turd

Can’t I be the one to live?

If only you could read between the lines!

Hello there adorable parents. Thankyou for taking out time to read this blog.I just want you all to give a deep thought to this blog and tell me if you agree or not ? Dear parents!!…Don’t you ever give thought to your fights impact on us? I know you two later patch up But Don’t you ever think of the effect on your children? Why all of a sudden you act least interested with children listening to your verbal jabs,abusing or blaming one another for all the different things you fight about?… Some parents would think I am just a recklessly emotional person and should overlook a fight but I can’t.Children can’t seem to get it out of there mind.As it is said “It gets harder to forget but easier to forgive “.See there is exactly where the  issue lies with children.How can the children forget the chaos you bring upon them and then making yourself normal like nothing ever happened before? Usually nothing’s gonna happen because after a blissful week there comes another session of baseless arguments. If you want to fight why make a spectacle in front of us better decide a corner and wrangle there.If only you could stop and see the expressions of your children for a while then maybe your void heart could sense the tension in their eyes. For me, my parents fight do matter.It just leaves a hole in my heart seeing them fighting over petty issues no matter who first initiates but still its makes me feel bad and hurt deep inside.Then the only solution to this problem is my freed. I love my peace of mind and freedom. I am never going to destroy it by participating in their battle of words or exchanging sides.Nevertheless I question myself I have come a long way in my life finally going be a graduate but why do such fights keep on haunting me? The answer I get from my conscious is that peace, love, care and affection is all I want.Basically a world where they can solve problems by just communicating verbally and having a thorough understanding of others feelings and emotions,discussing everything honestly without creating a rift or bruising other’s ego. If only our parents could create such a world where they interact openly without having guilty pleasures, everything will be solved making this a better place for their children.:) Inner voice of every child!

Oath!

I lack in judgments. I always like always assume the best or the worst in people.Its like the two extremities that I blindly follow.This is like making me the saint or the sinner in front of people.Why would I lie when I say that people opinion don’t bother me? Actually they do and hate my self for depending on them for each minor or major selections.Anyways judging others came from my emotional wrecked heart.People can do whatever that want whether they bitch lot,expose themselves or act like crazy bonkers. I always question my self why do I have to judge them ? I ain’t a saint…Who am I too question them and why do I care lot. It’s like the sudden ripple of waves start emerging from inside from my brain and hitting me till I state the obvious..I really did  opinion-ate and then the infinite guilty pleasures throbbing me ever since I judge. Telling me “See the person you judged is complete opposite to what you imagined” and I have that dig-in-the-grave-bury-myself-in-it feel making me feel ashamed of what sort of person I am .Who exactly has given me the write to judge them? I haven’t gotten any certificate or authorization from God (God forbid) to judge people So why I start blaspheming when I see things are not always accordance to my likes? I question my self and then got the answer that loathed my being.The answer was I am just a worthless piece of shit God created , bestowing His miraculously blessing knowing that I keep on sinning and He keeps on giving, I knew that I am purposely doing this judging things to please my aimless being.I had to stop this.It’s like NOW or NEVER for me. I have to be in front of Allah Almighty in the judgement day and I know I couldn’t face him because of my bad deeds.Already my sack of backbiting,not thanking God enough for His Big Heart when every time it comes to giving,loving and sharing is full. I want to drown in my own pool of deeds knowing exactly that what I deserve.But before its to late I just want to make an OATH to please God not to judge. 🙂