Quote #109

img_20161110_213755

Advertisements

Who I thought I would be

fb_img_1475855241018

The words you throw at my face
Every now and then
Yours eyes seeing right through my soul
Reminding me again of deep waters
That I claimed to get drowned in
It’s getting hard to get along with you
Because your breaching my confidentiality
The way I kept things afar
Not wanting your sympathy
Why would I need that?
Could you change the topic
There is nothing left to say
Just silent tears swelling up
In my throat that shut me up
Continuing to rave about
My issues would do nothing
To let me get out of it
This time I didn’t plunge
In deep waters, I threw myself
In an ocean where the possibility
Of survival is as meager as
As a disease gone viral
Don’t you dare remind me of
Of who I was ,who I thought I would be
Rewinding the past is regretful
It’s like a nightmare that
Keeps it’s claws on me all the time
Even if this dry spell of chaos
Is over, I am still not going to get over it
I can’t forget it
Who I was ,who I thought would I would be.

INSTAGRAM @fictionviaizza

Days of our lives.

screenshot_2016-10-11-22-06-07-1

I thought politely declining you
Will make you step away
But you were again provoking a
Reaction out of me
Deliberately ignoring you couldn’t help
But made matters worse
Even your silhouette made me shudder
With the way things shaped up
I couldn’t do anything sadly
Just awaited till it all
Die down if you forget someday
But you couldn’t forget my carefree zone
Me being wild and tamed at nothing to do with you
It was a way to see the world all in its glory
Befriending risks to make a life out for myself
But I guess belonging to you had demerits
Being a part of you led me down to a territory
Where my named feelings got divorced
I cried myself in fear of the unknown
That sulk down to throttle me by the collar
It grew in heaps until I lost recognition
An affirmation of my shattered state
I no longer cared my whereabouts
Still testimonials of your insignificant presence
And your morbid sense of humor
Continued to rattle me
Gaining a say evoked you
Until I preferred to be bathing stone
Exfoliating expressions
Rumors had it, I lost wit
Eyes claimed me lascivious
Hitting a nerve every time
I appeared rough and ragged
Fathering my flaws with grace
Till death awaited at the door
With a bow!

Artwork by Mahoor Jamal

My instagram for follow @fictionviaizza

Stop now!

img_20161010_222405

“I don’t know what i am feeling right now. I think alot of it had to do with the affect your words had on me. This huge gaping hole in my gut is consistent since we last talked. I thought i was going to rely on you for better or worse but you make me see the reality of my doings, my choices and my behaviour. I think everything has to do with what i do when you see the world around you progessing for more. Your wayward approach threatens me to reconsidera life I have chosen for myself. The lifeless statue of wonderland inside me is craving to be unleashed. I think you arent going to witness it happening when you bring out your own psychologies that get an upperhand. This feeling of disagreement is coherent as a whole ; i don’t think i will be able to give away my freight train of actions. My individuality and actions go simultaneously – hand in hand. Believe it or not.” – Izza Ifzaal