Who I thought I would be

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The words you throw at my face
Every now and then
Yours eyes seeing right through my soul
Reminding me again of deep waters
That I claimed to get drowned in
It’s getting hard to get along with you
Because your breaching my confidentiality
The way I kept things afar
Not wanting your sympathy
Why would I need that?
Could you change the topic
There is nothing left to say
Just silent tears swelling up
In my throat that shut me up
Continuing to rave about
My issues would do nothing
To let me get out of it
This time I didn’t plunge
In deep waters, I threw myself
In an ocean where the possibility
Of survival is as meager as
As a disease gone viral
Don’t you dare remind me of
Of who I was ,who I thought I would be
Rewinding the past is regretful
It’s like a nightmare that
Keeps it’s claws on me all the time
Even if this dry spell of chaos
Is over, I am still not going to get over it
I can’t forget it
Who I was ,who I thought would I would be.

INSTAGRAM @fictionviaizza

Uncommunicative revenge

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Dressed as a seductress
You arrived at my funeral
Looking as bewitching as I saw you the first time
Hair tied up in a knot
Those black shades of yours
Hiding red rimmed grey eyes
I swear I could see your shallow breaths
Aproaching the stand for my eulogy
You couldn’t even utter a word
Just gazing at the crowd with nothingness
Feeling numb and poignant
That pencil black shirt & white blouse
Dragging enough attraction
From your lethal body to your red stilletos
But still couldn’t stop the onlookers for preying at
Your silence like an uncommunicative revenge
Reigning through the wide hall
Still not done with the show you performed
Just a “Thank you” escaped from your lips
Before your relieving sigh cast a blow
At my casket
Grasping for breath, you ran as fast as you could
Leaving my dead corpse thoroughly sated
For my closure at the hands of you
Thou, I deserved to die
To let that shame subside my body
That tormented me.

Delirium

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Distracted and oblivious
That’s how Istarted
Pretending before
I could make a joke
Of myself
I knew nothing felt right
With the daily banters
Or killjoy moments
That tender corner
Of her heart deliberately
Turned stoic
Maybe the delirium
Of estranged relations
Got her in shambles
They say nature of a
Person never change
Yet I saw her changing
Getting more fragile from inside
But more gritty from outside
I let her cry away
Maybe that was her
Way to purgatory
To be able to cleanse away
The stream of tears
In those red rimmed eyes.

*delirium: acute confusional state