Nirvana

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The way their words
Kept barreling in
turned him scarier and scarier
One would say it was just
Normal to let others
Guide you but everyone
Failed to understand
What he was going
Through, Words falter
to purify his deceived heart
Silence stays
To an extent that
He himself could go weary
That rough edge of
Nirvana didn’t help matters
Rest, Everyone tried harder
For him to get rid of nirvana
They said it wasn’t real
Life isn’t supposed to
Be considered a nirvana
It’ suppress
you to be
Someone you didn’t want.

 

(Nirvana : an ideal state )

Delirium

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Distracted and oblivious
That’s how Istarted
Pretending before
I could make a joke
Of myself
I knew nothing felt right
With the daily banters
Or killjoy moments
That tender corner
Of her heart deliberately
Turned stoic
Maybe the delirium
Of estranged relations
Got her in shambles
They say nature of a
Person never change
Yet I saw her changing
Getting more fragile from inside
But more gritty from outside
I let her cry away
Maybe that was her
Way to purgatory
To be able to cleanse away
The stream of tears
In those red rimmed eyes.

*delirium: acute confusional state

Counting seconds

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Those counting seconds
Hanging between us
Awaited the ultimatum
I didn’t know how to
Breach that subject
To not let them
Approach it anymore
Time after time
I saw same faces
Their wicked smiles
and cunning souls
holstered with my
Shards of soul
Always taking away
My freedom in bits
And pieces.
At times they had
Heart liken hammer
Carried weapons
To enslave me
To lead me away
In the savage island
Of rotten tongues
Those counting seconds
In my mind always
Intervened reassuring
Me , casting a spell
over my shunned
Catastrophic heart
To not let any of it
Get in my head
But I couldn’t
Know where else
To confide than in my
Liberating head where
Counting seconds don’t
Last they have ways to chase me
After all.

Quarantined. ..

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He didn’t think there was salvation waiting for him. What he knew for certain was throbbing ache in his strings of heart indicating collateral damage. The wicked grin plastered on his face was enough to keep off the buggers. I couldn’t even know half of the time what he was thinking. Everything around him naturally turned comical. Maybe that was the way he carried himself around like a shield. Inside his mind must have been a terrible place of sentiments, for I had seen him being quarantined more than enough. Maybe his heart was slave to my eyes. I knew that my gaze his way could ricochet his feelings in outburst. Why did he had to be too headstrong to remain normal?  For him normal was highlighting digression. I knew he was hurting, hurting deep side to let the dagger of ribcage slit his hearts in shards. He let it happen any way. His oversaken past and future was causing a riot.  He mused fate was giving him a leverage until he saw what was coming. It wasn’t just a hailstorm. It was more like a turnado all the way from skies to whisk him away in monochromatic life high on chaos. His over thinking overruled everything leaving us both in tatters.

*(QUARANTINE : State of enforced Isolation)

Cross my heart

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Once you pestered me
To start a love life
Where I’ll no longer torment you
That mischief in your eyes
Was a dare to make me
Switch your place
To be with someone else
Who will be ready to accept me
I smiled and waved off your joke
Thinking that nothing ever like
You will cross my path
Cross my heart I vowed
Of you
Where sincerity I cherished
You plunged in games
Still daring me to quit
I once did
Just to return to your
Provocative glare
Wobbling my senses
I reassured you
That we were going
To last and we did
Until fate drew us apart.
*

Edge of never

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I was not your love.
I was a temporary temptation
A flesh and blood soul
That enticed you
One that kept pushing you
To the edge of never
Maybe I did have a role
To play your keeper
To indulge you in fantasy
Why didn’t I get that part
Where you were going to dust me off?
Like my mere existence was a burden
Maybe those secretive plans
That didn’t count me in
Were an epiphany
To stay away from you
But who could blame
That teeny tiny heart
That harboured a soft spot for you
Who could blame that mind
that was your addict ?
Your hellos &goodbyes
Your out of the way gestures
Those 4am calls
And those eye locks
That send shivers down my spine
Vanished with a thud
Because I was a muse
Now I am just an excuse
You can’t wait to get away from.

NON – LOVE IN MORE THAN TEN SENTENCES CHALLENGE

My friend Erika nominated my blog for the Non-Love in More Than Ten Sentences challenge. It is the first time I receive this nomination.I hope I did justice guys 🙂

Haven’t you seen the warmth in his gaze?
Didn’t you ever notice his stare with a care?
Don’t you ever feel giddy with him as a pair ?
Wasn’t your instinct there to sense the rare ?
Where you not always relying on his prayer ?
Wasn’t your worth not always there fair and square?
Why couldn’t you cease to stop this air?
Didn’t you skip a beat for him beware?
Weren’t these signs storming you to prepare?
Everything yet anything as beautiful as love