A bit of everything

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“Nothing at times makes sense. It’s like you can’t just jump into conclusions. You hope to get answers you so desperately wish to seek. Maybe, time is running out and it’s making you cynical but you want to cling onto something solid, something meaningful that swips of all your uncertainties. But world doesn’t let you take control that easily. You are bound to go with the flow, breathing every day a bit too less or a bit too much.”#izzaifzaal

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Days of our lives.

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I thought politely declining you
Will make you step away
But you were again provoking a
Reaction out of me
Deliberately ignoring you couldn’t help
But made matters worse
Even your silhouette made me shudder
With the way things shaped up
I couldn’t do anything sadly
Just awaited till it all
Die down if you forget someday
But you couldn’t forget my carefree zone
Me being wild and tamed at nothing to do with you
It was a way to see the world all in its glory
Befriending risks to make a life out for myself
But I guess belonging to you had demerits
Being a part of you led me down to a territory
Where my named feelings got divorced
I cried myself in fear of the unknown
That sulk down to throttle me by the collar
It grew in heaps until I lost recognition
An affirmation of my shattered state
I no longer cared my whereabouts
Still testimonials of your insignificant presence
And your morbid sense of humor
Continued to rattle me
Gaining a say evoked you
Until I preferred to be bathing stone
Exfoliating expressions
Rumors had it, I lost wit
Eyes claimed me lascivious
Hitting a nerve every time
I appeared rough and ragged
Fathering my flaws with grace
Till death awaited at the door
With a bow!

Artwork by Mahoor Jamal

My instagram for follow @fictionviaizza

Stop now!

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“I don’t know what i am feeling right now. I think alot of it had to do with the affect your words had on me. This huge gaping hole in my gut is consistent since we last talked. I thought i was going to rely on you for better or worse but you make me see the reality of my doings, my choices and my behaviour. I think everything has to do with what i do when you see the world around you progessing for more. Your wayward approach threatens me to reconsidera life I have chosen for myself. The lifeless statue of wonderland inside me is craving to be unleashed. I think you arent going to witness it happening when you bring out your own psychologies that get an upperhand. This feeling of disagreement is coherent as a whole ; i don’t think i will be able to give away my freight train of actions. My individuality and actions go simultaneously – hand in hand. Believe it or not.” – Izza Ifzaal

Quarantined. ..

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He didn’t think there was salvation waiting for him. What he knew for certain was throbbing ache in his strings of heart indicating collateral damage. The wicked grin plastered on his face was enough to keep off the buggers. I couldn’t even know half of the time what he was thinking. Everything around him naturally turned comical. Maybe that was the way he carried himself around like a shield. Inside his mind must have been a terrible place of sentiments, for I had seen him being quarantined more than enough. Maybe his heart was slave to my eyes. I knew that my gaze his way could ricochet his feelings in outburst. Why did he had to be too headstrong to remain normal?  For him normal was highlighting digression. I knew he was hurting, hurting deep side to let the dagger of ribcage slit his hearts in shards. He let it happen any way. His oversaken past and future was causing a riot.  He mused fate was giving him a leverage until he saw what was coming. It wasn’t just a hailstorm. It was more like a turnado all the way from skies to whisk him away in monochromatic life high on chaos. His over thinking overruled everything leaving us both in tatters.

*(QUARANTINE : State of enforced Isolation)

Loophole

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We have come two different entities rolling in life. Everytime I see myself drowning in helplessness; I cower just to shield myself away from you. Maybe I already know you are in despair of your own. Things we keep from each other is highlighting vulnerabilities. Both of us scared to let our weaknesses come between us. But I see it all coming. I am inclined towards that loophole that is somewhere showing me a way out. I am exhausted, drenched and drought to see our life turning into a squabble. I see myself going the way I never thought to go. That starlight is guiding me to a way out, out of treachery between us. I think it all be well – well enough to make my inaudible heartbeats stay tranquil.