Who I thought I would be

The words you throw at my face
Every now and then
Yours eyes seeing right through my soul
Reminding me again of deep waters
That I claimed to get drowned in
It’s getting hard to get along with you
Because your breaching my confidentiality
The way I kept things afar
Not wanting your sympathy
Why would I need that?
Could you change the topic
There is nothing left to say
Just silent tears swelling up
In my throat that shut me up
Continuing to rave about
My issues would do nothing
To let me get out of it
This time I didn’t plunge
In deep waters, I threw myself
In an ocean where the possibility
Of survival is as meager as
As a disease gone viral
Don’t you dare remind me of
Of who I was ,who I thought I would be
Rewinding the past is regretful
It’s like a nightmare that
Keeps it’s claws on me all the time
Even if this dry spell of chaos
Is over, I am still not going to get over it
I can’t forget it
Who I was ,who I thought would I would be.

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